Outside the door
by Sa-kun
Summary: Watching Kai and Rei discuss can lead you to see things through a new light. KaRe.


Outside the door.

I seem to have a knack for being confusing lately. But it pretty much wrote itself, so… I hope it's not too confusing, and I think I managed to clear away the spelling and grammar mistakes.

First POV, seen from Mysterious X-san.

* * *

I'm officially trapped in a corner, I really must commend myself for not thinking through the complicated task of wiping the floor. I sigh as I walk out onto the balcony, staring at the shiny, wet floor behind me. At least I can move freely out here, even if it's only a small space. It's not raining, either, just a slight chill from early autumn. 

Closing my eyes, I breathe in deeply. The air is fresh, cold and new. I can smell the wet grass, dying leaves and something that reminds me of home, before we grew up and were still small.

I smell Rei and Hiwatari.

I frown, opening my eyes. Rei told me they were going to practice in the park, and yet they're standing under the maple tree in front of me, almost but not quite arguing, staring silently in a way that leads me to believe something serious is being discussed.

It also gives me the impression that they never made it to the park.

"Why not?"

Rei breaks the silence, his glare softening somewhat. From up here, it doesn't seem to affect Hiwatari, his stance not changing.

"Hn."

Hiwtari turns his head away, but Rei's hand is there faster than I can blink, turning it back to face him again.

"Please, Kai. It would mean so much to me."

Hiwatari's hand is moving slowly, covering Rei's. But he doesn't pull it away like I would've thought him to do. Instead, he just stands there, holding onto Rei's hand, back straight, and not letting Rei affect him

Or maybe he is, and I just can't see it? I always thought of Rei as strong, and yet he's always the one who let's himself be swayed or persuaded to do what the majority wants or what seems to be more logical and mature to do at the moment.

Whatever they are discussing must mean more to Rei than Hiwatari's opinion that he always cherishes and holds so high.

Because their hands are still holding on to each other, and neither has backed down.

"Can't it wait?"

I blink, trying to remember that underneath everything, we are still young and stupid, vulnerable, frail human beings.

There is a hint of pleading underlining his otherwise stoic voice.

When Rei pulls his hand away, twisting it so their fingers can interlace I know he heard much more than I, and I try to not notice how easily and naturally he moved his hand.

Hiwatari turns, and Rei turns with him, and now I see their profiles against the thick trunk of the tree.

"Kai-chan, they deserve to know who I'm spending the rest of my life with. Who I _want_ to spend it with. And they deserve to be _told_!"

Kai…chan? The rest of his life?

I shake my head, and for a minute I forget that I'm a silent, uninvited and unannounced spectator, and lean over the railing, openly staring in shock at the two having a privet discussion under the maple tree.

Rei's…with…Hiwatari?

Suddenly I'm glad for the balcony railing.

I see Hiwatari smile. I _have_ seen Hiwatari smile before, in public at the odd tournament or dinner, but this smile…I wasn't meant to see that smile. Rei's smile.

It's small, precious. And almost, shy. Expect Hiwatari isn't shy.

"We're moving in together, and I don't want to have to put up a façade; two beds and separate wardrobes. I won't do that."

And then, it's Hiwatari who surprises me. He takes a hold of the shoulders that Rei presented him with, and turns Rei back around, his hands remaining where they are. And he does it gently, carefully.

"Anta…"

How long have they been at it if they're moving in together? If Hiwatari lets Rei call him chan, and for him to call Rei anta?

I grip the railing tighter. They aren't…married, are they? Partners?

"Don't pull that one on me, Kai."

The hurt, covered with harshness, voice brings my attention back to them, and I see Rei turn his back to the Russian again. Even from where I'm standing, I can see how tense his shoulders are.

But he doesn't move. Doesn't push the hands once again holding him gently away.

He let's himself be spun around slowly, again. And he let's Hiwatari slide his arms around his neck. And Rei moves closer, seeking comfort and familiarity from the one who's causing him the distress in the first place.

Is that how much he loves him?

"They're _my_ family, Kai. My family. I know you don't like them, and that you don't get along, but I met yours! And I didn't even know them." Rei's takes a step back suddenly, and I can see that he is upset, his voice a whisper away from hissing. "You didn't even tell me their names, and I still agreed to meet them."

Maybe, to Rei, turning his back is the only thing he can do when he's outside in the open to avoid Hiwatari without ending their discussion.

"Anta, Rei I-" I lean back on the wall behind me, raising an eyebrow. I never thought I'd see Hiwatari… "Why would they _want_ to see _me_?" …lost. His arms hang limply by his sides, this time not moving to turn Rei around.

I think Rei knows, even without looking. And where I expected to see worry and a need to comfort, I see a smile.

Rei smiles his small smile, where his fangs show and his eyes sparkle, and turns, coming closer to Hiwatari, less than a breath away. Suddenly not seeming to be upset at all.

"They know I'm seeing someone, they knew the minute I let you into my bed." I see him cross his arms, and unfold them, only to put his hands in his pockets, withdraw them and take a hold of the white scarf. Hiwatari's scarf. "They want to know who my mysterious 'lady' is. Who my soul mate is."

Maybe it's true that caring comes with great understanding and love. That even the most emotionless person can learn to care, with time and guidance.

I never noticed until Hiwatari placed a gentle hand on Rei's shoulder just how much Rei genuinely wanted us to know. How exhausted, hurt and desperate he was.

"I want them to know it's you."

They stare at each other again. Both silently waiting for the other to speak up, and I wasn't excepting Hiwatari to be the one who would break it.

"I'm not a lady, Rei."

Of course he isn't a lady… what kind of answer is that anyway?

There is a smile hidden in Rei's voice when he speaks. And it confuses me.

"I know that. I would've told them after a month otherwise. But it's been over a year…"

There is something in Hiwatari's eyes that I can't see, because the same smile that was in Rei's voice is now playing on his lips. I feel as if I somehow missed out on an important part of their conversation.

"And I love you, Kai. I want to spend the rest of my life with you…"

It's at times like these I curse my sensitive hearing. The whisper before their kiss was not meant for any ears other than Hiwatari's.

I take a step back, pretending that I didn't just see them do that, but before I can move back inside, the wind blows Hiwatari's quieter whisper back to me.

"I know. I-I love you too, anta."

Swallowing, I move back inside. Somehow, I don't particularly care that the floor might not be dry yet. I could always mop it again, starting here this time and working my way out, like I should have done from the beginning.

If I had, I would still be in the dark. A part of me feels that I _should_ be unaware, but the other part of me…

Would they have told me? Would Rei convince him, and- Leaning on the mop, trying to stare a hole in the wall, I startle as the door to my room is suddenly opened, and Rei stumbles inside, cheeks slightly flushed.

From the run up here or Hiwatari I can't help but to immediately think.

"I caught….your…" I see his eyes widen as they notice the wide open balcony doors behind me. "…scent…"

I shrug, starting to mop the floor again, this time from the inside. "I was just warm."

I know he doesn't believe me.

If Rei can hear the door downstairs close, and hear Max's conversation with his mother from where he's standing, then he knows I can too. And he knows I probably heard something I shouldn't have before Max walked outside.

"Rei- Oh, hey."

I see Rei tense briefly, then he's suddenly facing Hiwatari, hissing in a language both harsh and exotic.

Hiwatari blinks, looking from Rei, to the balcony, his eyes coming to rest on me. Another word I don't understand, and Rei nods.

And then Hiwatari nods.

And when Rei turns around, he's grinning happily, and I can see, that behind his back, he's holding on tightly to Hiwatari's hand.

* * *

And the end. Did I get it right? 

R&R, please.


End file.
